The title of this article probably gives away what I am about to talk about. Yet most may think I am talking about a Beauty Bar or a Blow Dry Bar. I am actually talking about a Bar where you go have drinks and cocktails. Yes, this is not about how you lay your mascara on or how you put on your make-up with your Kim K tutorial playing in the background. This is about where you should be sitting when you go out on one of those girls night out.
Many times my friends and I have gone out in a group usually 3 or 4 women. We sometimes may go for a drink or dinner and especially being single it would be nice to get some male attention or at least meet someone interesting of the opposite sex to have a conversation with. A lot of times we book a table for dinner and then end up sitting and chatting all night or sometimes we go to our favorite members’ club and just end up sitting in the corner and talking with each other. I mean don’t get me wrong this is fun too. We are beautiful women, and you can see the potential admirers staring us down. However, it is very rare they approach.
I remember being at Spago with my friend “P”. “P” and I went for drinks and my friend “L”, that works on a show at Warner Brothers joined. We sat, ate, had drinks, and we did get a lot of attention from some guys walking past and others glancing ever so casually from the bar area. At the end of that evening, we had a couple of guys come and talk to us at our table while the vast majority of men at the bar had now moved on and started talking to new admirers.
The lesson here I learned is, if you are single and do intend on meeting a future mate, you have to put yourself out there. What I mean by this is; you have to increase your chances of meeting Mr. Forever After by being open to possibilities of crossing paths, and this could involve sitting at the bar. I know one should not look desperate but as my friend always said, “Amanda, prince charming is not going to come knocking at your door. He probably does not even know you exist”. Well, she is so right. We all sit there complaining about how hard it is to find a date, yet we are never open enough to the possibilities.
American women, for example, are so much more open than British women and are more likely to sit at the bar by themselves. Perhaps they are having a meal at the bar or just a drink. I always hated sitting at the bar especially hotel bars by myself for fear of being mistaken as a “lady of the Night.” The truth of the matter is who gives a fxxx anyway? You are losing the opportunity of meeting Mr. Right as not everybody will have that point of view. Now a smart girl will sit at the bar get a drink, and then you can pretend to be on the phone typing away or talking if you feel self-conscious. Another good way to let go of your anxiety is to start a conversation with the bartender. Get to know them then at least you don’t feel so self-conscious.
Smart girls sit at the bar because in a room full of people firstly you are sitting higher above everyone else (on a bar stool), and secondly you increase your pulling potential by at least 70%. I know it may sometimes feel odd if you are a group of girls say 3 or 4. But this trick still works. It actually works even better as being in a group provides variety, you may not necessarily get a guy each, but sometimes just one guy may approach or a couple as he may be interested in someone from the group. If you get on it also saves you from having to introduce him at a later point to your friends. He meets all of them instantly, and if the two of you get on after the first official dates, it makes things easier.
Also, I think meeting a guy at the bar sometimes provides for a first date situation. As usual, the bar can sometimes provide that face to face contact while you talk to him, and all your friends talk to their potential matches or themselves. The bar Is one of the random places that’s like a dating app. You can bump into someone, check them out and if they get boring, you can easily start talking to another admirer without even the slightest feeling of remorse.
At the end of the day, it’s a game of numbers and the bar is just so much more social. Next time you go out you may want to think of opportunities missed, the truth is they sometimes don’t come back. Be smart and sit at the bar. This could really help get you out of your head space and into the free market. After dinner move to the bar girl!. What’s the use in just sitting chatting to your girlfriends. So what if some of your friends you are with are married. If they are attractive, they can also help you pull in potential admirers. You are a smart girl ….. so please do sit at the bar.